Money mistakes we should avoid

👌🏾👌🏾*Money Mistake 1:*
Never borrow money that accrues interest to start a business (except if you are paying for it through your salary); only borrow to grow your business. This is because business takes a long time to gain ground and begin making profit, yet most loans repayments have to be made within a month of taking the loan or even earlier. Therefore, never borrow money to start a business expecting that the business will generate income to pay back the borrowed money plus the interest.

*Money Mistake 2:*
Never spend money you haven't received. Don't even promise someone money based on a promise you have from someone else. If someone tells you: "Ezra, come to my office tomorrow at 9am and pick N3,000"don't go out to buy items on credit based on this promise, with the hope that you will pay off your creditor when the promised money comes; it may not come as promised and this will leave you in problems with your creditors.

*Money Mistakes 3:*
If you want to save, whenever you receive money, don’t start spending hoping that you’ll save what remains. Normally what remains is zero because as long as money to spend is available, the numerous things you can spend it on are also available. And things to spend on even incite their 'relatives' so that you spend even more than you had planned. When money to spend is not available, we naturally find a way of doing without it. That's why I've learnt to save in an INVESTMENT ACCOUNT. Once I send money there I assume I no longer have it. Before you spend any money, put your savings aside then spend what is left after saving.

*Money Mistake 4:*
When you get an opportunity to meet a very wealthy person, never ask for money. Ask for ideas on how to make money. They may even choose to give you money on their own after seeing that your ideas are great, but let getting money from them never be your objective.

*Money Mistake 5:*
Keeping your seed instead of planting it. Many people stop at saving. It's very, very difficult to save and have all you need to maintain your lifestyle especially after retirement. When you save, your savings are seed; plant it. When you just keep the seed (saving money) some seeds begin to die (eaten by inflation and the like). That's why I recommend that you read about the different types of investment vehicles you can use to grow your savings. I am not necessarily talking about putting the money in a business, because you can easily lose money in  business. I am talking about putting it in an investment.

*Money Mistake 6:*
Never lend someone money you are not willing to lose. By the time you lend someone money, be contented in your heart that should the person fail to pay, you will not die. You should not even lose that person's friendship if they fail to repay the money you lent them. If you feel the person might fail to pay you and this will not affect your relationship with them, then lend them money. If their failure to pay would make you hate this person’s entire clan, please advise the person to go to the bank.

*Money Mistake 7:*
Never append your signature to guarantee someone on a financial matter if you are not willing or able to pay the money on their behalf. Do I have to explain that one? No, it's self-explanatory.

*Money Mistake 8:*
Avoid keeping money you don't intend to use in the short-term within easy reach. For instance, don’t walk with N10,000 in your pocket when all you plan to do in a day costs N2,000. Like I mentioned in Money Mistake 3, there are always expenses available to gobble any money that is within reach, so if you don't want to lose it, put it away in a safe place.

*Money Mistake 9:*
Avoid keeping money in inappropriate places e.g. in socks, under the pillow, in a pit, in the sitting room, in the bra, in a travel bag that you will place somewhere in a bus ... impulse buying is a devil that will keep you busy!

*Money Mistake 10:*
Spending money on an item that you can do without (at least for the time being). These days when I pick money from my pocket or wallet, before paying for something I ask myself: What would happen if I didn’t buy this? If I find I can live with the consequences of not having that thing, I smile and walk away.

*Money Mistake 11:*
Paying an amount for something that's not the minimum you can get that same value for. In other words, if you are at Spar and you pay N15,000 for a shoe that you can get at N3,000 at Rumuokoro, that's a money mistake except for those who have achieved financial freedom.

*Money Mistake 12:*
Wanting to be the savior of the world by helping everyone in financial need. My sister, my brother,  you are not Jesus. If you find it so hard to say no to a financial demand, you may think you are practising generosity when in actual sense you are committing (financial) suicide. We are not learning to be miserable here; we are learning to live within the boundaries of reality.

*Money Mistake 13:*
Consistently spending all you earn or more than you earn. It's like having a drum where you have an inlet that's smaller than the outlet. It will never get full. And should the inlet ever reduce significantly the drum will run dry. If you do it the other way round and the inlet is bigger, it will get full and even overflow. Hence, we have to always ensure we are widening the inlet while narrowing the outlet – all the time. Your side hustle comes in handy!

*Money Mistake 14:*
Thinking about short-term only and forgetting about long-term or thinking about the long-term and forgetting about the short-term. For instance, Lydia was told that there's money in land. She saved money over a long period of time and bought 30 acres of land. Now she has the land but she is always broke. She is always complaining. She's disgruntled and she doesn't seem to see herself earning from the land in the near future. Now, let's ask ourselves: Having 30 acres of land and no money to feed your family or take a child to hospital, is that wealth or poverty? I think Lydia only looked at long-term needs and forgot that she has short-term needs that require money. What of those who find they are one paycheck away from salary? Are they thinking about the long-term needs?

Let’s take stock of our finances. How many mistakes are you guilty of?
Do you now feel better-equipped to do better with these tips? Enjoy the journey , saver

Copied from Facebook: Purple Aura.

Man with cancer given 4 months to live got restored while restoring an abandoned old church

When Greg Thomas was diagnosed with terminal cancer, he needed something to take his mind off everything. So, he threw himself into fixing up a dilapidated old chapel. But while he was saving the church, it turned out that the church might have been saving him, too.

Thomas lives in Montgomery, Minnesota. Now in 2009, at the age of 57, Thomas was given some terrible news. Doctors told him that he had stage-4 cancers in his neck and head – and that he would most likely die from them.

“When I found out that I had cancer they told my family to go ahead and start planning my funeral,” Thomas revealed to Minneapolis news channel K.A.R.E. 11 in 2012. “It’s almost like a nightmare that you can’t wake up out of,” he added.
And to make matters worse, Thomas then lost his job as a propane delivery man. So, in a bid to combat his stress, he began journeying into the nearby countryside where he would spend hours strolling around with his pet dog. And it was then that something caught Thomas’ attention.

Thomas had stumbled upon a crumbling old church in the middle of a prairie. Now, although the church would have been a perfectly pretty little building when it was built by Catholic Czech immigrants in 1868, by the time Thomas encountered the building it had certainly seen better days. In fact, it hadn’t been used for over 100 years. Neglected and abandoned, then, the church had slowly fallen into disrepair.

Intrigued, Thomas attempted to enter the church but found that it was all locked up. Suddenly, he had the urge to pray, so he sat down on the church steps and began to talk to God. And after that, the former delivery man couldn’t get the decaying structure out of his mind.

Later, Thomas returned to the area and began making enquiries with locals to learn anything he could about the building. Thomas had, in fact, spotted an opportunity. He thought that if he could help repair the church, it would take his mind off his terrible diagnosis.

“He went to a neighbor and said he wanted to paint the church and who does he talk to, so the neighbor sent him to talk to me,” Don Rynda told K.A.R.E. 11. Rynda acts as the treasurer for the foundation that attends to the church’s accompanying cemetery. He was astounded by Thomas’ offer and decided to allow him to paint the building.

Thomas soon began work on the forgotten church. First, he stripped away more than a century’s worth of paint which was 15 layers thick in some places. However, the work was tough and was no doubt made harder by the effect of Thomas’s cancer and subsequent treatment.

“I’ve been on a feeding tube now for three years,” Thomas explained to K.A.R.E. 11. Indeed, the illness also caused him to lose his saliva glands, his teeth and much of his energy. But despite everything, Thomas was determined to restore the church to its former glory.

So Thomas soon began work on the forgotten church. First, he stripped away more than a century’s worth of paint which was 15 layers thick in some places. However, the work was tough and was no doubt made harder by the effects of Thomas’s cancer and subsequent treatment.

Once he had finished work on the building’s exterior, he was finally able to access the inside of the church. And what he found was like a portal to another time. The 1860s interior was still very much intact and the church bell was still working.

However, despite the church’s cosmetic splendor, some structural issues needed addressing inside. Indeed, the floor was rotting, a new roof was needed and the church altar and fireplace needed some T.L.C. So, without stopping to rest, Thomas began fixing up the inside as well.

It was then that Thomas was given news of something almost miraculous. In 2012, he was told that his cancer was in remission. So after he’d put his heart and soul into restoring the old church, Thomas was sure that this good news had been a blessing from God.
And although Thomas had been given his future back, he still continued to work on the church. “This is my way of saying thank you,” he told K.A.R.E. 11. By this point, moreover, his project to take his mind off his cancer had not only become his passion, but also his savior.

Consequently, Thomas continued working on the church until late 2015, when he was given some bad news once more. After a growth was found on his throat, Thomas was told that his cancer had returned. “It was the same cancer I had before,” he told K.A.R.E. 11 in 2016. “But now it’s in my voice box and has metastasized to the lymph nodes in my neck.”
Thomas’ only treatment option now was surgery. But even that, doctors warned, would leave him disfigured and might not be successful. Thomas subsequently decided against treatment and has since thrown himself into finishing his restoration project on the church. However, doctors warned that his cancer was moving fast, so it would be a race against the clock to get everything completed.

After learning of his story, a woman named Tracy Tomczik-Loso set up a crowdfunding campaign to help Thomas realize his dream of completing the church. Indeed, Tomczik-Loso hoped to raise enough money to help Thomas replace the eight windows in the chapel and install electrical power. “I can attest to both the beauty of the chapel, and the beauty of Greg Thomas,” she wrote on the GoFundMe page in 2016. “They are both beautiful inside and out and both have a new chapter to write.”

Meanwhile, Thomas himself wasn’t worried about what the future had in store for him. “I firmly believe He’s not done with me yet,” he told K.A.R.E. 11. “If He takes me home, He takes me home. I’m a winner either way.”

And aside from finishing the chapel, Thomas had one more final wish. He is currently enrolled in a two-year program to become a pastor with the New Day Church in New Prague. What’s more, according to Tomczik-Loso, it is his sole aim to preach in the chapel that he has spent seven years lovingly restoring.

While Thomas has been praised by many locals for his work on the chapel, the work has given him so much in return, he says. Indeed, while he was saving the church, he felt that he was also being saved – by God. As Thomas said, “It seems like while I was restoring the church, He was restoring me.”

Men made to experience labour-like pains

The physical pain of child birth is one of those things that men are mercifully exempt from having to experience. But have you ever wondered just how a man would cope with having to give birth?

Its difficult for men to know just how painful it is for a woman to give birth, which is probably why some men like to pretend that it isn’t such a big deal and that women are simply exaggerating the pain. But when two husbands volunteered to have themselves hooked up to a couple of labor pain simulators in order to prove their point, things didn’t go quite as expected!

“It feels like someone is taking a saw and just carving up my abdomen,” says one of them, unaware that the pain he’d just experienced was only the pain of early labor. When “active” labor commenced, the two men, who had chosen Mother’s Day to make their macho statement, start writhing with uncontrollable pain until one of them suggests that he’s about to throw up. Their wives accompanied them during their “labor,” although whatever moral support they were there to provide quickly gave way to fits of laughter as they watched their husbands ride out the agony.

“That sucked,” said one of them during his postpartum phase. “That was horrible. Mom, if anything that I just experienced is anywhere close to what I did to you all those years ago, i’m sorry, you’re like a superhero. You’re one tough momma.”

God's thoughts for His children

I needed a new phone.
Someone volunteered to take it up, so they asked:
"Should I send you the money for the phone or buy you a phone by myself ?"
That question sort of put me in a 'dilemma.'
I knew it required a thoughtful response.
I considered the status of the person that asked me.
I knew he would send any amount of money I asked.
But the issue I had with that was that I also knew myself - knew I would only ask for what I would have bought for myself if I were to buy it.
And that was going to be very small.
So, I decided to ask this person to buy a phone and send it to me.
I knew this person quite well. I'm sure of their standard. I knew they would not get me something they can't use for themselves.
I know them that much.
So, I wasn't surprised when this person asked me in response to my answer,
"Do you like an iPhone? That's what I use. I can guarantee you it's very good. Should I get you that?"
Don't ask me what my response was...
=============================
Now, imagine you telling God how you need a life.
And God asking you,
"Should I allow you to choose the life that you want or would you prefer me giving you the life that I chose for you and chose you for?
Would you want me to say 'yes' to your plans or would you rather I give you plans to say 'yes' to?"
===========================
God, the owner of the universe; the Master Planner Himself, the One with whom nothing can ever go wrong,
The one who wrote to you and said,
"...I know the plans I have for you... plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer.29:11 (ESV)
And the prophet Isaiah testifies of Him,
"No one’s ears have ever heard of a God like you. No one’s eyes have ever seen a God who is greater than you. No God but you acts for the good of those who trust in him." Isaiah 64:4 (NIRV)
So, which would you prefer?
The life you choose or the one He chooses?

written by Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele.

WHO HURT YOU IN YOUR PAST?

I saw this on Facebook and thought to share.

He had a deadline to beat. So he came home late when his family was asleep. He went into the kitchen, warmed up his dinner that the wife had cooked. Matoke with beef stew. In a few minutes he was done and went to sleep, exhausted.
In the morning, him and his wife got up. After the shower, wearing robes, it was time to prepare for the day.
"You think I am your house help? What is this? How many times must I tell you to never leave utensils unwashed? I wake up to an unwashed plate in the kitchen sink. Can't you even wash after yourself? Must I always clean up after you? Are you a baby? And you used my favourite plate that I keep for visitors, can't you even use the many other plates I bought? Agrrrr you've ruined my morning. I am so sick of being married to a man who can't even follow simple instructions" his wife shouted at him.
"What is this all about?" He asked looking at her surprised.
"What is this all about?" She ridiculed him. "Stop acting like you don't know. This is about the mess you left in the kitchen last night"
"Is this really about the dishes? Are you seriously talking to your husband like this because of a plate?" He asked shocked.
Their six year old child walked in on them in the kitchen.
His wife looked at the child then sneered at him and said, "We're getting late. The kids are getting late for school"
He gently grabbed her hand to lead her to the bedroom.
"My love, we need to talk" he told her.
"We don't have time! You have a deadline, I have an early morning meeting at work. The kids need to get to work. Stop rushing me" she reluctantly said.
"Kids, prepare for school. Mommy and I will have a chat, join you, have breakfast then we'll leave" he told their three children.
"But dad we'll get late for school" said their first born.
"You've never been late. But today, there will be no harm getting to school slightly late. Don't worry, I will personally talk to your teachers" he said.
"Woop woop! You are the coolest dad" cheered their naughty second born jumping on to the sofa turning on the TV.
The couple walked inside their bedroom. Closed the door.
He got her to sit on their bed and he knelt next to her, placing his hand on her lap.
"We're getting late" she said with a cold tone.
He rubbed her waist and said, "Shh, it doesn't matter, this is important. I don't want us to get caught up living life that we fail to address issues"
"So there is an issue?" She asked.
"Yes, my dirty plate on the sink" he said.
"Don't worry, I will wash it" she said trying to get up out of the bed.
He pressed her down to make her remain seated.
He looked deep into her eyes as if searching for her soul. She felt naked before him.
"My wife, who hurt you in your past?" He asked.
"What do you mean?" She questioned.
"For the years I have married you, I notice you are easily irritable, you have this temper, this bitterness, this fear that erupts out of petty things" he spoke.
"Oh, so you're saying I am petty? You think my reaction over what you did last night is petty? You think I am petty?" She erupted, sneering at him.
"See what I mean?" He said.
Silence.
"I am not saying you are petty, I am saying you are easily angered. I am saying that your response to my dirty plate was cold and harsh, all you could have done is correct me with love, but instead, you attacked me, you crushed me over a dirty plate, you fought me over a thing. Why are you this angry?" He continued.
Silence.
"No one is born angry and irritable. Anger, a hot temper is something we acquire as we live. It is our reaction to the circumstances that push us to fear, defensiveness and confusion. We acquire an angry temperament from our upbringing and the pain we collect along the way. So I want you to look inside you, your past and tell me, when did you start being so angry?"
Silence.
"My love, open up to me. Let me in to the darkest corners of your past. Show me your scars. Who did this to you? Who introduced you to bitterness? When you open up, you release the pain and healing will start; but when you hide, when you pretend, when you act like you are OK, when you wear a fake smile; healing will evade you and you will take it out on your loved ones. You will find yourself shouting at me and the kids, taking out your frustration on us"
Silence.
"Racism, fear, tribalism, fear, anger; all those are taught. All of us are born in the image of God and then the darkness of life creeps in through events and we become fearful and angry. Who did this to you? Who taught you how to be angry? Who made you feel like you have to fight alone, like no one is on your side?"
She began to cry.
She broke down in tears.
He hugged her. She broke down even more.
"I was raped. I was raped by my cousins. I was just a young girl" she opened up.
She let him inside her darkest thoughts. Told him of how she was raped, her abortion when she was seventeen that she did because she couldn't face her parents, her questions about her father who was largely absent when she needed a father figure, how she was sexually harassed at work by her boss and no one believed her. She opened up about her fake friends, who were there only to use her until the day she chose to ride solo. She opened up about how she gave her body to a man who claimed to love her, only for the man to end up cheating on her and making her feel unworthy and not beautiful enough. She opened up about her struggle with self esteem, the nights she cried to sleep. She opened up about how she made mistakes that ended up costing her time, money and peace of mind, her struggle with porn and alcohol while she tried to project an image of a Godly woman yet she felt God was angry with her. She opened up about the nights she'd wake up naked in bed with a man she didn't love and how that made her angry with herself. She opened up about the five relationships she got into thinking they would last. The first one she was used, the second one she was physically abused, the third she was rejected because the man's parents didn't approve of her tribe, the fourth she was cheated on, the fifth she was dumped the night before her wedding. She opened up about all her baggage"
He listened.
He wiped her tears.
"My love, that is alot for one person to go through. Thank you for opening up to me. It will help me to love you better. When you open up, you release the burden. I now know better about where you are coming from" he told her.
"I have never told a soul all these things" she said clinging on to him.
"If you don't tell me, who will you tell? Darling, this is what love is about. Taking your past, walking with you today and building with you our tomorrow. Many people think marriage changes things but actually marriage reveals things. In marriage that is when issues become unearthed. People use marriage as a cover up thinking it is a magic wand that will change lives. But when marriage is done in honesty, marriage become a place of healing because where there is love there is healing. With the help of God, my love will silence your fear, my love will redeem back your view of sex, my love will tell you the men you were with before me were wrong. I will show you that you are a Queen deserving of the best of love. Love will heal you. Instead of taking things out on me, let me be love to you. My love, stop fighting alone, stop fighting your inner wars alone. That was then, this is now. You have me. You are married to a man who has your best interest at heart. No more fear, no more anger. OK?" said he.
She looked at his eyes and said, "I love you. I cannot believe after all the pain I went through, finally God brought me something good and I allow the hangover of my past to make me live with anger in my present"
He kissed her and said, "Healing takes time but it will happen. It happens when you stop covering up your pain but become intentional about it"
"I love you. I love you so much" she said.
"I love you too. We are in this together" he told her.
"Kiss me" she requested.
They kissed. The healing kiss.
They prayed. The healing prayer.
He then helped her to dress up and she helped him to dress up. They exchanged some laughs, joined their children, had breakfast as a family and drove to school and their respective places of work playing some cheerful music in the car and having family fun.
Did you get married without addressing the issues you went through in the past?
Are you an angry person?
Don't take your anger in to your marriage, it will tarnish the relationship between you and your spouse and your children.
May you heal from all the damage you went through along your path.
May your marriage be a place of healing.
We live in a hurting world. Support your spouse in his/her healing process.

Single mom being a father in every sense of the word

When I became a single mom over 3 years ago I made a promise with myself that I would do anything I could, even if it meant going out of my comfort zone, to give my kids a "normal" life and the same experiences as other kids. We have accomplished a lot. Trips alone, teaching my son how to play catch, killing bugs with minimal screaming, countless memories, and a normal life. But when my kindergartener came home with a paper saying that they were having "dads and doughnuts" my heart kinda sank. I finally sat him down and asked if he wanted to ask his grandpa to go. He just smiled and said "no. I want you to go. You're my mom and dad". So this morning I gathered up my best dad outfit, painted on some facial hair, and went to breakfast with my sweet son. I was so embarrassed but I couldn't help but smile when he introduced me to his little friends saying "this is my mom... she's my dad too so I brought her!" I've tried my best to let them know they are loved but I wonder a lot if I'm actually succeeding at it. When I went to leave he ran after me and hugged me tight around my neck and whispered "mom... I know that you'll always be there and do anything for me. Thank you. I love you" kissed my cheek and ran off. I hope he remembers this day cause I'll never forget it or his sweet words. # singlemom # dadsanddoughnuts
# myforever # lovewhatmatters

Copied from Whitney kittrell's Facebook page

Mixing up the names of children

If you are a parent who quite often gets your children's names wrong and confuse the names your children, you know how exasperating it can be.
And it's frustrating too, if you have to go through a million names every time  you want to call someone to run an errand.
"Ese, I mean, Bayo - no, I mean Haruna- can you pass me the remote, please?"
Those names don't even sound remotely similar, so why the mixup?
A study has found that names don't even have to sound entirely alike for people to get them confused repeatedly - it's actually all to do with the categories the names belong to.
Researchers conducted five studies across 1,700 people, investigating why misnaming occurs.
They found that "familiar individuals are often misnamed with the name of another member of the same semantic category."
What does this mean? Well, "family members are misnamed with another family member's name and friends are misnamed with another friend's name."
So when your mum goes through every one of your siblings names before getting to yours, it's because she's picking it out of a little filing cabinet in her brain labelled "children".
What about the names not sounding alike at all? The study found that phonetic similarity between names, leads to misnaming, but the semantic category effect was a bigger cause of people getting names wrong.

I do this a lot and it's frustrating.

What are our children doing online?

Children these days have access to their own tabs and smartphones at a very early age and most times, we parents do not even know  what our children are reading/watching online or who they are chatting with via social media platforms.

How do we as parents keep track of the websites our children are accessing?

Many parents do not keep track of the browsing habits of their children and a large percentage are completely unaware of their children's online activities.

Most of us parents rely on these smart devices to help with homework and general learning for our children from an early age because its a great way to stay up-to-date with happenings around the world and  for our teenagers to communicate with friends. So there's need for younger children to access the internet.

Access to the internet is mandatory in most schools these days with tablets being a part of their starting requirements. So teachers expect students to go online to do research and assignments and reinforce information's.

While access to the internet has a lot of advantages, there are also disadvantages.

Some of the advantages are the help it renders during research. Children who have access to the internet always learn new things online and are abreast with happenings in their immediate environment and the world at large.

For our primary schools presently, I noticed a lot of things have changed. Sciences and mathematics that used to be taught in primary 5 and 6 classes, are now taught in primary 3 and 4 and sometimes in primary 2 classes. I have constantly had the need to run to my phone to check out answers to homework and research needs for my 7year old. Older children I know in secondary schools are constantly chatting via Facebook, WhatsApp, twitter, my space and other social media platforms concerning school work and generally socialising.

Technology is moving very fast and we as parents, have to move along with it so as to be able to monitor our children's great computer skills(these days, children seem to be born with an inbuilt manual on computer operations).
They know far more about the world than we did at their age.

Access to the internet equals access to cyber bullies.
Having a smartphone, tablet in recent times is as commonplace as eating. Its a  part of the life of a modern day child. Cyber bullies are invisible and are difficult to identify even if the child opens up to a parent/an adult, because its very easy to put up false information online.

Many children spend so much time online that they find it difficult being social/sociable offline and cannot concentrate on anything else(reading a book or having a healthy conversation). Most children begin to feel agitated if they are away from online activity for any considerable length of time.

Some scientists predict that these high amounts of internet exposure may alter the thought patterns of children.

Some children meet up with strangers they met online without their parents knowledge. We should teach our children not to meet with anyone who they meet online. These strangers can be serial killers, rapists or generally a bad influence on the child.
Although a lot of children have had negative experiences online, most parents do not even realise this.

Not all information posted online are private.

How do we keep safe, our children's internet access?
Firstly, be sure to talk to your child(ren) about the dangers of communicating with strangers and exchanging personal information online.

There are some signs we have to watch out for in our children.
Do they become secretive and try to hide what they ate doing online?
Are they very depressed and cannot concentrate in on anything else?
Do they get on the computer at a specific time daily?

As a parent, know your way around a computer and the internet. At the very least, know as much as your child(ren) until they get to their very late teens and 20s.
Most internet browsers have parental control options for various age groups.
Activate these controls and access to certain websites are restricted. Additional safety tools for parents are also available for purchase online.
Try visiting the websites your children visits to have a feel of what they are exposed to.
If your child uses the internet , they may unwittingly give away sensitive information to strangers(phone nos, address, pictures etc). If this is the case, and you get to know, try changing as much of the information given out as possible. And make sure contact with the stranger stops.
Discourage your child from posting pictures on social media even if they think its "cool".

Teenagers mostly need the most monitoring online but children 12 years and younger should not be allowed to use an internet connected computer alone because even though they may be in secondary schools, they are not mature enough to handle internet predators.

Children 7years and below in my opinion have no business with the internet. In carrying out school projects adults should help them search and show them just what they need.

It is best to be in the room when children are using the internet, it might help if computers are used in the family room instead of the privacy of their rooms.
Try to always check the internet history of your computer. If your child clears the history, there might be a cause for concern.

Make your child feel safe and confident enough to talk to you if they receive harassing or threatening messages online. Start conversations about online safety with your child early.
Set a good example by limiting your time on social networks/your phone when at home.
Teach them to decline friend requests from strangers.

In as much as internet access is a common factor in our lives, we need to think of the security of our children and as such, cautious movement into the advantages should be taken.

The bond of twins

I have always loved the idea of having twins, particularly identical twins.
The beauty of cute little twin girls or boys is inexplicable, in my opinion.
I see it as one of God's many wonders.
I was told my mum had a set of twins but one died, and I was secretly hoping I'll have a set of twins, but it wasn't to be, so here we are.

Twins are two offspring produced by the same pregnancy. Twins can be either monozygotic ("identical"), meaning that they develop from one zygote , which splits and forms two embryos, or dizygotic ("fraternal"), meaning that they develop from two different eggs. In fraternal twins, each twin is fertilized by its own sperm cell.
In contrast, a fetus that develops alone in the womb is called a singleton , and the general term for one offspring

Growing up, I used to hear stories of twins feeling each others pain( one twin injures and the other feels pain where his/her twin injured) but I don't know how true that is. I've read of twins even when separated at birth get to do things together and such.

An example is the story of twin brothers, Jim Lewis and Jim Springer, who were separated at birth and adopted by different families. Unknown to each other, both families named the boys James. Both James grew up not knowing of the other, yet both sought law-enforcement training, both had abilities in mechanical drawing and carpentry, and each had married women named Linda. Both had sons, one of whom was named James Alan and the other named James Allan. The twin brothers also divorced their wives and married other women – both named Betty. And they both owned dogs which they named Toy.

Some facts about twins:

* Twins even identical twins, do not have identical finger prints

*Older moms are naturally more likely to have twins

*Twins can be conceived (and born) up to 24 days apart

*Twins can have different fathers

*There's a gene for fraternal twins

*Tall women are more likely to have twins

*Twins(especially identical twins), live longer than singletons

*some conjoined twins can see, feel and taste what the other one does

*Mirror image twins have reverse asymmetric features. Having birthmarks on opposite sides of their bodies for instance.

*Nigeria is the country with the highest birth rate of twins *yaaay*

*China is the country with the lowest birth rate of twins.

*If a pair of identical male twins marry a pair of identical female twins, their children will legally be cousins but genetically be full siblings.

*One of the easiest ways to tell identical twins apart is their belly buttons

Image from google images.

What would you do in her shoes?

I was hanging out with my friends yesterday evening so we ordered fresh fish and drinks, the next person beside us came in with his girlfriend and ordered drinks and fish too. They were drinking and holding hands together, the lady was resting on the guy's shoulder. So these people were having fun, before we knew it, a woman walked in with a baby not more than 4 months. She dragged a chair and came to join the man doing "ROMANCE" with his girlfriend. The girl was looking at the woman with such a Surprising look, while the man was so quiet.
Then the woman called the Bar attendant "please give me a bottle of malt and Fresh fish" and they served her. Then her baby started crying and she fed her baby and continued eating . She now called the bar attendant to call people in the kitchen which he did, then she ordered for two fresh fish (point and kill), they told her its #1500 each she said she needed two of the fish and ordered for Isi-ewu, 3 full mortar, they did and packaged all for her.
She now ordered for 7 cans of malt which they gave her. All these while the man was kind of scared for the woman not to create a Scene at the joint, while the girl he came with was no longer comfortable.
When she was about to go, the bar man said "Please madam your money" and she replied "My husband here will pay". She quietly dropped her baby on her husband's Laps and went with her Goodies home.
People there started laughing and talking, while the girl was ashamed to leave the joint. My crew and i followed too and laughed.
The man now asked of the bill, o boy the bill too big pass d money for the man's pocket abeg.. He now called the bar attendant, gave the guy his ATM card to withdraw money. When the guy came back, he settled the bill and left there in SHAME.
#copied

"I am so glad that you're here."

The note was written to Year Four students at Bowen State School in Queensland, and a photo of it was uploaded to Facebook by a touched parent.

The poem read,

"Welcome to Year 4,
I am so glad that you're here.
Here is a little goodie bag to help kick off the year.

The eraser is to remind you that it's OK to make mistakes.
We'll work and learn together no matter what it takes.

The bookmark is to show you you always have a place. If you ever feel a little lost, we’ll help you find your space.

The stickers mean we'll stick together and work hard as a team.

The puzzle shows how we fit together, working towards a common theme."

The smarties are to remind you how smart i think you are

Work hard and do your best.
Remember to aim far."~

I'm sure this will lay a foundation for team work for the pupils.

Innovative baby carrying pants; The story behind this trending image.

This picture has been trending on social media and this is the story behind it.

Sometimes all it takes for someone who doesn't have to deal with a problem all the time to look at it from an outsider's perspective and, bam, it's solved.
This happened when mum Claudia Sorhaindo needed to leave the house for a short while so asked her niece, J'ann to look after her baby, Ava.

A few minutes later, J'ann said she felt hungry and wanted to make a sandwich - but she quickly realised there was a problem.
Obviously, she didn't want to let the baby out of her sight but there was nowhere to put her down as she was in her own house and didn't have any baby bouncers or the usual tricks mums and dads use.
What did she do? Well...
She put the baby down her shorts as a sort of "hands-free" carrier.
It meant she could make her sandwich and keep the baby within sight and safe.
J'ann's younger sister snapped a few photos of the hilarious baby carrier and the girls sent them to Claudia to show her baby was safe.
Her amused aunt said she "laughed her butt off all the way home" when she received the text message, and shared the hilarious photographs on Facebook - with lots of 'crying laughing' emojis.
She wrote: "So I had to run out the house for a quick min, so I asked my niece to babysit Baby Ava.
"A few min later I received a text saying that J'Ann wanted to make a sandwich but didn't want to let baby Ava out of her sight.
"Lord send help this was her solution, like really, creativity at its finest."
Other parents praised her efforts in the comments, with one saying she was the "best babysitter ever" and marvelling at how sweet it was.
One mum, Christa Belle, commented: "Wish I thought about that when my son was a baby."
The images have since received over 312,000 shares on Facebook.
So popular is the idea, J'ann has started a
GoFundMe page with the help of her aunt so she can start her own range of "J'pants".
The family is hoping to raise $10,000.
Mum amazed as babysitter comes up with genius solution to age-old parenting problem in five minute.

"Lord send help this was her solution, like really, creativity at its finest."
Other parents praised her efforts in the comments, with one saying she was the "best babysitter ever" and marvelling at how sweet it was.
One mum, Christa Belle, commented: "Wish I thought about that when my son was a baby."
The images have since received over 312,000 shares on Facebook.
So popular is the idea, J'ann has started a
GoFundMe page with the help of her aunt so she can start her own range of "J'pants".
The family is hoping to raise $10,000.

Culled from mirror.co.uk

Do you have a favorite child???

Do you have a favorite child?
Are you fair and impartial to all your children?
Do you treat them all equally?
Do you love all your children unconditionally and equally?

Growing up, some of us had this feeling of not being loved as much as our siblings by one of our parents or both as the case may be.

Some others knew they could get away with things some or all of their siblings won't get away with or we could get things from our parents that our siblings won't be given if they asked.

Being a parent now, we may or may not have realised that we have favorites. But its possible that we are drawn more to a particular child because of the nature of that child appealing to us.

Favoritism can be expressed by spending more time with one child, being less strict or more strict, giving more affection and more privileges, etc

Sometimes favoritism can be fair. Showing more care to a newborn or a sick child for instance is expected.

Loving a child more than others can cause feelings of not being wanted in the other children because its obvious sometimes that a parent has a favorite child. This can lead to resentment amongst siblings and even depression. It can rid a child of his/self confidence and may even cause a rift between the children.

Even those parents who felt bad not being loved as much as their siblings when they were younger are sometimes still guilty of favouritism.

Some parents are partial to their biological children in families where there are adopted children or step children. some others favour the eldest or the youngest child, and the middle child is ignored.

Interestingly, children's well-being is highest when parents exhibit no favoritism toward anyone, favored children have to contend with sibling hostility.

As parents we should avoid being partial.
All children have their good points and we should focus on our child's positive qualities while ensuring we do not compare one child to another.

Considerations when having a baby

In Nigeria, the cost of delivering a child is not high, in relation to costs abroad but even though the actual hospital delivery of a baby might be cheap,  having a baby is really expensive especially in the current Nigerian economy.

When one considers the whole picture involved from when a child is conceived to the actual delivery and even after, one has to plan well financially to have a child.

Expectant parents will have to decide on the ideal hospital based on costs and what the hospital can offer. The care given by the medical team in a private medical institution in Nigeria is far better than is obtainable from government hospitals(based on personal experience and the experiences of close friends). I mean reputable private hospitals not any cubicle called a maternity home.

Some hospitals offer epidural and a decision has to be made based on whether the mother wants one and can afford it, so that hospitals offering this around her is located.

Ante-natal registration also needs consideration. Various hospitals have fees to be paid on ante-natal days apart from the initial cost of registration and the prices differ. Government hospitals most times need blood donation, either as a prerequisite for ante-natal registration or as a condition while being admitted before delivery.
I hear some state governments have made ante-natal and delivery free but I don't know how true this is.

A lot of decisions are to be taken before a child is born and a lot of them are money related or based on personal choices.
Some people prefer giving birth in homes owned by known local midwives, retired nurses and midwives and such. But I don't know anything about the cost and the care available in such places.

One has to have a budget and decide on the hospital to use, months before delivery.

Some of our mothers tend to lean more towards government hospitals citing them as being better because they have professionals/specialists with years of experience as their reason for this preference.
Most of these specialists in government hospitals, also have their private practices or sometimes work in some other private medical institutions. These hospitals should also be considered.

Based on personal experience, the care gotten in a good private hospital is so much more than in a government hospital, federal or state.

For a first time parent, there are things to be bought like
A bassinet/baby bed
Bath set- bath tub and bowls, potty
Baby drawers
Shawls
Blankets and beddings
Baby bag(for outings)
Big water flask
Onesies, vests, pullovers(depending on the weather)
Comfortable cotton clothes
Outing clothes
Cotton wool
Lotions and oils-(shea butter and coconut oil)
Feeding bottle
Sterilizing kit
And some others like caps, scratch mitts, booties etc.

Though most hospitals give their lists, hospital needs are generally:
For the mother-
  A couple of bottom down night dresses (for ease in breastfeeding)
Comfortable cotton under wears
  Sanitary pads
  Breast pads
  Nursing bra
  Toiletries toothpaste, toothbrush, etc
  A couple of comfortable clothes and a   set to go home in.

-For baby
Cotton wool
Baby lotion and oil, mild baby soap
Shawl/wrapper
Socks, cap, onesies, botton down overalls, baby wipes, small laundry bag, diapers for newborn(a small quantity)
Clothes to go home in

Would you return a problematic adopted child?

What will you do if you adopt a problematic child?
Will u send the child back because you know you can? Or will you take it as your cross because if it were a child born by you, you will have no where to take the child?
A lot of families treat adopted children very well, that one who is not told will not realise the child was adopted. Also a lot of families treat adopted children badly

"Adoptive parents forced to send their children back into care have spoken of the emotional turmoil which led to their heartbreaking decisions.
Despite thousands of youngsters successfully being taken in by families there are some who are sent back into care by parents who feel they can't cope.
Social services warned one father that the boy he was adopting could be difficult but he wasn't prepared for the violent outbreaks.
Rob, not his real name, said the boy aged four or five was "violent towards my wife."
He added: "She got kicked and thumped. There was quite a lot of emotional abuse to her as well.
"My wife now shows the sort of symptoms of someone who's suffered domestic abuse."
Prof Selwyn said children who were older when they were placed with a new family were far more likely to suffer disruption.

If you find yourself in a situation, where you have your own biological children and decided to adopt a couple more children to help the society and those adopted children are violent and negatively influencing your children, what will you do?

Italicised part culled from mirror.co.uk

Who does the chores at home?

In Africa, its taken to be the wife's duty to cook, wash, clean, take care of the children and generally run the home, while the man provides the money for running the home.

Who made this rule? No one, it is just sort of a norm having been passed on from our parents and grand parents.

Times have changed and a lot of wives are not just stay at home mothers or "housewives" as its commonly called.
They work 8am-4pm and sometimes later than 4pm and some own their personal businesses.

Is it still expected for the woman to work/ run her business and also completely run the home?
In homes where there are helps, say a cook, 1/2 nannies, a driver, a gateman and all that to do chores and run errands, the husband can afford to just provide the money and not do anything else, but he will be providing a lot of money to pay these domestic servants and take care of fees, feeding, clothing all that his family needs.

Some men actually do not have the time. They are always away on trips and even when they r home based, they run around to make money and by the time they get home they are tired. Whereas when a woman is tired, she can still force herself to do somethings, i've noticed its not the same with a man.

Taking care of children is a full time job, we pick up after them, keep an eye on them always so they don't get hurt, prepare their meals, assist with homework, listen to them when they want to talk and a host of other little things.

So, how do we balance taking care of the home and working, in a scenario where there is no house help?
The easiest way in my opinion is for the husband to help, no matter how little.
While the wife is cooking, he can assist with home work. When she is bathing the children and getting them ready for school/church/outings, he can iron their clothes and set the table.
There are a lot of ways balance can be achieved and it involves everyone working together to keep the home.

Children should also be taught early to pick up after themselves and keep themselves busy in a good way when their parents are busy. It can be by drawing or coloring or doing something safe they enjoy.

The life of a woman

I AM A WOMAN!!! -
So what?
I get into an argument with a man, he slaps me, I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
I get into an argument with a man, I slap him, they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.

Because I am a woman, I don't have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my silence in the face of oppression and brutality.....

Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ''it is in their nature to cheat, I should slim down, dress better, cook better, pray harder and be more pleasant to him"

I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home, I am an irresponsible mother.
So I am sent packing, from the home we both built, with all my earthly possessions stuffed into a tiny box on my head. I am henceforth forbidden from seeing my two older children, I'm lucky to be allowed to go with my little one still suckling on my left breast. Three years later, the little one is tagged a bastard. Now, my new name is "after-three", because I am a woman.

He is 28 and runs a company. He's tagged wonderful, hardworking, focused, career oriented, successful at a very young age.

I am 28 and I run a company " Hmmmm, she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler, loves money, let her go and get a husband oh"
And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person's gender.
Because I am a woman,

I am not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant, professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me.
Then I am tagged a generous leg opener, "a runs girl". They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am.
Because I am a woman.

A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after, he did the right thing, he's being praised and congratulated for moving on, after all life is for the living.

A woman looses her husband to death and remarries after 4yrs, "ahhh! so early? Are u sure she wasn't sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive? That was why she killed her husband. She's a witch! " Because she's a woman.

Because I am a woman, this post will be considered controversial, and everyone will try to correct me.
But don't forget, that I am a woman and it does not make me less human!!!
God bless every woman for the tolerance.
Dedicated to EVERY WOMAN❤
#COPIED

A little laugh

I was just in the kitchen cooking when my 3yr old came to tell me his older siblings said he's an old man.
Obviously he wasn't happy that they called him an old man, so I said he's a man but he's not yet old so he he'll be an old man when he's old.

He thought for a while and said "mummy am I new?" Hahahaha
Laughing, I answered him yes you are new for now.

What is the "ideal" number of children

What is the ideal number of children for a family?
Personally I think there's nothing like an ideal number of children for a family.

A lot of things determine how many children a couple should have, and its entirely up to the husband and wife to decide how many children they want and work towards it.
Factors like income and personal desires are major deciding factors to how many children one wants to have.

Taking good care of our children is a major goal and as such we should have the number of children we can comfortably take care of, financially, emotionally and even physically.
Where one doesn't want to keep house helps, cooking, bathing the children, assisting with home work, running errands and other relevant duties should be put into consideration.
Feeding, clothes, school fees and other extras like vacations, should also be considered in the financial angle of child upbringing.

Before I got married I wanted to have 5 children. After I got married and had my 1st child, I reduced the number to 4 children. By the time i had my 2nd child I had further reduced it to 3 children and was considering having just the 2 God had already given me. I just made a last minute decision to have one more because if I left it any longer, I'm sure I would have stopped at just 2. All these while my husband would have been OK with just 1, he said as much when we met. For him, 2 was stretching it. And here we are with 3 wonderful children.

1st hand, I know its not easy, financially, emotionally, spiritually and all round but having children and the number to have is a decision to be planned by the parents, considering the above factors.

Some have more children than they planned because they have all children the same gender and are looking for a male or a female child.

But otherwise we all have an idea of how many children we want from the word go.

The bane of Nigeria

Why is Nigeria, a country so blessed, so backwards?
This question has been so used, it has become a cliché but the answer is as elusive as ever.

Nigeria is blessed with a lot of good things, raw material, fertile soul, intellectuals, you name it she has it.

Nigerians excel wherever they are and in whatever they do- in the medical field, engineering, trade and commerce, banking, even scam.

So why are we still where we are today?
In my opinion, the problem of Nigeria is Nigerians. Rather than look within, see and develop the good in us, we look for acceptance from others. We do this as a nation and as individuals, as leaders and as masses.

It starts with us, given what is due to who it is due.

We should give jobs to those who merit it rather than "who know man", we shouldn't increase the prices of Nigerian products because their foreign alternatives are far more expensive.
Let's encourage " made in Nigerian products ", there are some very good ones, we can start from there.

Cattle rearers now engage police officers in shoot outs. How is this even happening?

Police officers should stop looking for bribes and actually put their backs into their jobs which is " to protect lives and properties " because they seem to have forgotten that part. Their motto is now "guilty until you pay".

Until importation of refined crude oil products can be stopped, the prices should be regulated(I don't mean a group of people pocketing money). Attention should be paid to getting the refineries working.

Agberos (transport touts) should be swept off our roads. In fact I don't want to get started with this set of people, God help us here.

Civil servants who once behind their desks fancy themselves mini-deities, carry on their personal businesses to the detriment of the jobs they are paid for(in recent times though- jobs they are hardly paid for).

It is from one story of a nigerian customer being asked to stand up in a banking hall for a white customer to sit, to whites bashing a car and going scot free while the owners of the car that was bashed are detained, to black employees being outrightly bullied and underpayed by their white employers in Nigeria.

Don't get me wrong, I am not racist and I'm not trying to be but fair play matters in all things. We should demand fairness to ourselves and foreign visitors and expect it. Until we start acting in ways deserving of respect ourselves, we cannot get the respect due us.

I could go on and on but I believe everyone needs to look at themselves and appreciate who and what we are, to help Nigeria be a better place.

Phcn wahala, officials beaten

This country's power situation is nothing to write home about.
There's been no power where I live this year. In fact we didn't enter into this year with electricity from PHCN.

A couple of days after Christmas, 3 "NEPA"(we still prefer calling them NEPA) officials came with ladder asking for payment receipt. There was none to give them because we just moved to the house and its a new building and no meter. They insisted on us paying #7,000. I laughed because I knew that ain't happening and I told them as much.
OK, what was the 7k for? They claimed it was 2k for reconnection(for wire they had not disconnected) and 5k for loss of revenue for a month.

We had not stayed for up to a month and I told them as much. They said I must still pay the 5k. At this point I had called my husband because I'm not really good at these sorts of things.
I had to keep them busy and stop them from cutting our wire till husband comes back.

Somehow I was able to convince them to leave our wire. They had already cut the wire of the building opposite ours that was connected to us and took the wire.
I told them I was definitely not paying up to 5k, let's be waiting though. They carried their ladder and moved on, insisting on me collecting their number because they will come back to cut the light if they don't hear from us.

Hmmm!!! Finally oga came and sorted them. We decided to go the route of paying the loss of revenue in a bank and upon enquiry, we found out it's #3,000 as opposed to the #5,000 they told me, imagine that!

We had power supply for about 2days after that incident and poof!!! No more.
On asking around to find out what happened, we were told some PHCN officials were beaten up and in annoyance our line was disconnected pending when the people who beat them are brought forward.

Even when all the areas around us are shinning brightly with NEPA, we are burning off fuel to charge phones and perform other necessities. Its wasteful and tiring
Nigeria, which way???

I think card meters should be compulsory for all buildings and this cutting light mess stopped immediately. It has become very annoying.

Good morning people

Its a beautiful and cool Tuesday morning.
It has refused to rain though the signs are  all over. How's your day starting already.

What are your plans for today? What did you have for breakfast?

A number of us already have a plan and "to dos " for the day. How do we ensure we complete set tasks and on time too?
Come and share how you plan on completing you tasks for the day and if you actually did.

Tonto Dike Churchill and motherhood

Tonto Dike has been on the news a lot these past couple of weeks. And for nothing other than being a mother and a wife.

Its been one rumour of her husband having an affair with his PA to a true story  of her apologies to Mercy Johnson for something she said to Mercy regarding her(Mercy's) child when she(Tonto) wasn't married.

I was really impressed with the way she publicly apologized to Mercy Johnson. It takes a great woman to acknowledge her faults and an even greater woman to come out years after to put things right. That there is a mother putting her child before herself.

 
Although I think Tonto Dike put herself and her marital affairs out there too much right after she got married, I don't think it's anyone's business what goes on in her home. Everyone is entitled to their methods of expressing happiness. Marriage is a beautiful experience when one is in it with the right person and under the right circumstances.

That she chose to express her joy by gushing about her husband and his gifts to her, doesn't mean rumors about their standing in the marriage should be peddled unfeelingly.

She is a mother now and a lot of things will change, abruptly and gradually. Let's cut her some slacks. She can't go every where with her #kingkong as in the days of old.

She has even gone as far as running tests and making the result public to prove to all "nosy bodies" that she's clean and can breastfeed her child without issues.

Let's please give her a rest from the constant poke nosing and let her be.

Its a brand new day

Good morning people,
Waking up early, preparing breakfast, bathing the children , ensuring they eat quickly and off to school. That's my usual morning routine and it's no different today.

How do we as parents cope with our children? I know its not easy. But then, cope, we must.
Some families have some form of help, live in nannies or those helps  who come in the morning and leave at the close of the days work, there are also those who come in to work for a number of days in the week. These assistance eases the stress of house chores, errands and some energy and time sapping duties.

But in cases where there are no helps, how do the parents cope? Some families have both parents pitching in and helping out. The father helping children with home work while the mother makes dinner and similar things.

There was a time I used to sweep and tidy my home at night when my children are sleeping. In the morning when they are off to school, I run all errands that need attention and then I get back home, make lunch and dinner before they close from school. Its not easy but then, what works for me right?

So tell me, what works for you as a parent?
For the working mother/father, how do you work around things?

The quadrant

I am sure you can't guess what I'm going to write about from the title.
Well its about four people in the nigerian entertainment industry- Gideon okeke, chiwetalu agu, Chioma chukwuka-akpotha and Tony one week.

I'm sure we've all heard about the call outs and fall outs. But for those of us who may not know what this is about, here's a brief summary:
Gideon Okeke a nollywood  actor, said  Chiwetalu Agu's habit of using some vulgar words repeatedly in his movies, is no longer ideal as children watch these movies.
Chioma Akpotha replied by calling Gideon disrespectful and new generation actors generally lacking of morals.
Chiwetalu Agu said he doesn't even know who Gideon Okeke is. (Funny)
Tony one week, took sides with Gideon Okeke and claimed to be shocked at Chioma's reply. Especially with Chioma being a mother.

And I say for the sake of our children, who can be exposed to these films, vulgar words should not be used in Nollywood films rated for general viewing.

Imagine watching a movie rated G with kids and then an actor uses an Igbo vulgar word. The child would want to know what the word means, especially when it's repeated a lot throughout the movie. How does one begin to explain that?

Mind you we are only talking about this because of how it affects our children not for trending gossips sake.

Cartoons and our children (3). What to do

How do we balance the rate at which our children watch cartoons and TV in general? Getting the benefits while ensuring there are no negative effects on our little ones.
While still learning to balance with my children, this is what the pros have(research has) to say.

We have to ensure we don't get carried away by the peace we get, when they are occupied watching TV. So we have to put them first by cutting short our "me time" and getting them involved in other healthy activities.

Let's try to set TV time limits from day 1.
Instead of a child watching long stretches at a go, say 2 hours straight, try to break up the length of time, to 30-45minutes with 5-10minutes intervals.

We should try to watch the programmes our children ate watching, so we can get a feel of them. I try to do this and on occasions when my children view a newly introduced cartoon and can't stop talking about it, I try to watch with them. I've stopped them from watching a cartoon I don't like after watching with them once. They complained but finally we all agreed and they now change the channel when I'm not with them and that program is to be aired.

We can buy DVD's or record cartoons and programs with good content for them, so we are sure of what they are watching. This also solves the problem of their exposure to adverts that encourage them to eat junk food. Win-win.

If we can, (I know this one will be hard though) we should keep our children from TV till they are 18months (1year and 6 months) old. And then they can have some minutes a day of supervised viewing from 18months till they are 2 years old..

As a mother, I know it's not easy but we can try.

Cartoons and our children (2). The good

  Still on our discussion about the effect of cartoons on our young ones.
  Let's talk about the positive effects because believe it or not, there are numerous advantages to our children watching cartoons.
  There are times my children are telling me something and I'm lost. Let's take an example of an incident that happened yesterday. My daughter was talking about a blow fish(between you and I, I don't know what it is) so I asked her what a blow fish is. She then explained that its a fish that puffs up and looks like a balloon with spikes on it.
   I went further to ask her where she learnt about it and she said in a cartoon. My husband and I looked at each other because he knows the fish but I didn't and I was impressed. I googled it later and read up on the puffer fish/blow fish.
   So our children watching cartoons, indirectly teaches us and spurs us to learn more for their sakes. That's a good thing right?
   Quality children's programme can teach our children good manners, how to interact with people, world history and cultures, basic science (take Nina and the neurons for example), how to help those in need and a lot of other positives.
   On the plus side for us the parents too we need some time to ourselves without their disturbances. Times to breathe, to hurriedly or leisurely cook that meal you've been longing to cook in a while, to take a nap or to surf the internet, to read some chapters of that book you've been reading for months and all such catch ups. But generally, there are times we need space. At such times, cartoons to the rescue.
   So why too much cartoons can be bad for our children, a little is definitely good for them and for us.

Cartoons and our children

   How do we handle our children and the length of time they spend in front of the TV.
  Most of us send our children off to watch cartoons, just so they can get off our necks and give us some space to do house chores, run some errands or just to have some "me time".
   Is it a good idea? How long is ideal for them to spend in front of the TV. What should they watch? These are questions I have been asking myself.
   While them watching TV can't be so bad, are all cartons good for our children. There are some educational children programmes but somehow a lot of children get bored by them easily and prefer the likes of doc mcstuffins, Sofia the first, miles from tomorrow, Jake and the Neverland pirates and a host of others like PJ masks(which I don't like).
  
Research has shown that:

* children under 2years old do not really understand cartoons they watch

*modern cartoons portray a lot of violence and children's exposure to these kinds may make them violent or make them feel the world is a scary place

*parents gradually begin to use cartoon as the easy way out to get their children off their hair. This can get the children addicted to tv

*children who watch too much cartoon (more than 4hours per day consistently) at an early age are at risk of obesity

This is why its imperative for us to monitor our children's screen time so they don't spend too much time watching TV and become couch potatoes.

There'll be subsequent posts on this topic. Watch out.
Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment

Meet me

I'm a wife and a mother.
Sometimes I feel like talking to someone and pouring out my emotions and hearing other people's ideas and experiences on life, on marriage, on how we raise our children, on our coping mechanisms regarding the affairs of our country and the world at large.
I just don't want to drop trending stories and gossips. I want "us" to discuss how these stories affect our everyday lives and the best way to move forward despite these obstacles/difficulties,_for ourselves our husbands and our children.
I want to be part of a story of triumph. Our story of victory.

Its welcome then

Phew!! Finally,
Its been year after year trying to find a means to express my thoughts, put down my ideas and experiences, have a personal place to say what I feel and hear your thoughts too.... Yes YOU.
So let's call it "home4reel" our little space for sharing thoughts and ideas.